I remember this day like it was yesterday. We’d had an early morning and I needed to get out of the house for some fresh air. I had decided i wanted to take Noah for a walk along the Bargara esplanade so I packed the pram into the car, grabbed the nappy bag and Noah and pulled the front door shut behind me – leaving the house and the car keys locked inside.
Thankfully I had dropped my phone into the nappy bag at some point so I called Hubby who had to come home from work and let us into the house again.
So there we were, locked outside and for some reason I’d locked the car so I couldn’t even get the pram out and go for a walk anyway. We had an old park wrought iron chair out the front of the house so we sat in it for a while before Noah got restless. I pulled out the blue wrap from the bag and sat us on the grass in front of the house. I tickled him till he giggled for me, took some photos and relaxed.
I got what I wanted – to get out of the house. I also got what I needed – to spend happy time with my new son.
Sometimes we all need something as simple as this. To get locked out, sit on the grass and just be. Not think. Not worry. Not stress. Just be. I knew Hubby was coming and I knew that in that moment, there wasn’t anywhere else I needed to be than just being Noah’s Mum.
Life is busy. I’m trying to say ‘Productive’ instead of ‘busy’ because I think being busy is something we all compete with lately. ‘Work is so busy I don’t have time to think.’, ‘I’m too busy to catch up’, ‘I’m too busy to do that thing for myself that I’d promised I’d do,’, ‘I’m too busy….’. But if you’re productive, you’re doing what you need to do (and here’s hoping its something you enjoy!!) so you have more time to do what you love to do.
Or more time to do what you need to do. Like sit on the grass.
No one ever seems to take the time out of life to just live lately. What does living mean to you? What is the lifestyle you really want and what needs to change to have that.
Do you need to go back to basics? To be locked out so that you just stop and take stock of what you already have? Why do you need more? Do you really really need more?
I need happy and healthy kids. I need to be able to go to the beach when I want to (which we can now!!). I need to feel fulfilled in something I do everyday. Now that doesn’t necessarily need to be work (bonus not many people have but I love what I do!), but that can be as simple as reading to Phoenix after school. Making them a Milo. Sitting with them (without my phone) and watching Shaun the Sheep before bedtime. That fills my bucket of self satisfaction and I’m pretty sure it fills theirs.
What more do I really need to feel fulfilled? To feel like I’m living? If I’m honest – nothing.
Maybe it takes getting locked out to realise we already have everything we need.
A smile, a giggle and a memory.