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Tag: family

Everything I need

I remember this day like it was yesterday. We’d had an early morning and I needed to get out of the house for some fresh air. I had decided i wanted to take Noah for a walk along the Bargara esplanade so I packed the pram into the car, grabbed the nappy bag and Noah and pulled the front door shut behind me – leaving the house and the car keys locked inside.

Thankfully I had dropped my phone into the nappy bag at some point so I called Hubby who had to come home from work and let us into the house again. 

So there we were, locked outside and for some reason I’d locked the car so I couldn’t even get the pram out and go for a walk anyway. We had an old park wrought iron chair out the front of the house so we sat in it for a while before Noah got restless. I pulled out the blue wrap from the bag and sat us on the grass in front of the house. I tickled him till he giggled for me, took some photos and relaxed. 

I got what I wanted – to get out of the house. I also got what I needed – to spend happy time with my new son. 

Sometimes we all need something as simple as this. To get locked out, sit on the grass and just be. Not think. Not worry. Not stress. Just be. I knew Hubby was coming and I knew that in that moment, there wasn’t anywhere else I needed to be than just being Noah’s Mum. 

Life is busy. I’m trying to say ‘Productive’ instead of ‘busy’ because I think being busy is something we all compete with lately. ‘Work is so busy I don’t have time to think.’, ‘I’m too busy to catch up’, ‘I’m too busy to do that thing for myself that I’d promised I’d do,’, ‘I’m too busy….’. But if you’re productive, you’re doing what you need to do (and here’s hoping its something you enjoy!!) so you have more time to do what you love to do. 

Or more time to do what you need to do. Like sit on the grass. 

No one ever seems to take the time out of life to just live lately. What does living mean to you? What is the lifestyle you really want and what needs to change to have that. 

Do you need to go back to basics? To be locked out so that you just stop and take stock of what you already have? Why do you need more? Do you really really need more? 

I need happy and healthy kids. I need to be able to go to the beach when I want to (which we can now!!). I need to feel fulfilled in something I do everyday. Now that doesn’t necessarily need to be work (bonus not many people have but I love what I do!), but that can be as simple as reading to Phoenix after school. Making them a Milo. Sitting with them (without my phone) and watching Shaun the Sheep before bedtime. That fills my bucket of self satisfaction and I’m pretty sure it fills theirs. 

What more do I really need to feel fulfilled? To feel like I’m living? If I’m honest – nothing. 

Maybe it takes getting locked out to realise we already have everything we need.

A smile, a giggle and a memory. 

 

Our own little date.

I miss them. They’re both at school this year and I’ve been missing hanging out with them more than I expected I would. 

Last year there was time I could spend with each of them during the week. I had time between school and day care pick up to hang with Noah, then whole days with Phoenix while he was at school. We don’t have that one on one time anymore and I’m not the only one who notices it. 

“Mum, can just you and me go out on a date? Then we can come back and you can go with Phoenix.” Noah asked me the other day. It made my heart melt to know that he feels the same way I do.  

Yesterday afternoon I decided we needed to rebel from homework and after school routine. We went straight from school to a little store I know and each chose an ice-cream (Zebra Dream Coconut Ice-Cream FYI – amazing!), then sat together in the sun and shared them. We relaxed, chatted about their school day, living near the beach and my upcoming trip to NZ. It was the most stress-free I’ve felt in ages. Completely relaxed and just,  happy. 

Then I took them to a shop to try on a dress and it all turned to shit. 

But for a short time that afternoon I realised that our life is perfect. It’s how we spend our time with our loved ones that can make the world of difference. An afternoon of ice-creams and chatting can make everything align perfectly. 

And I realised they’re both getting so big now. I need to stop blinking. 

The Shoe Tree 

“Mum, I think that is a shoe tree there.” Noah pipes up from the back seat in the car as we idle at the local IGA, waiting for Phoenix to do her belt up. 

“I think you’re right Noah, I wonder how it grew its own shoe?” I ask

“From a seed!” Phoenix chirps in

“I think it’s ready for picking,” Noah comments “should we leave it there or pick it?”

“Hmmm, I wonder what it would taste like?” I ponder 

“Like poo!” Phoenix’s favourite topic can be added to anything at the moment 

“Maybe like dirt?” I suggest “or like tyres? Or like the road?”

“Yuck. Let’s just leave it there then Mum,” Noah decides 

“Let’s leave it to ripen more maybe,” says Phoenix 

“Good idea you guys,” 

I spy…

Playing a quick game of ‘I Spy’ with the kids before bed. Phoenix always chooses ‘P’ because that’s the only letter she knows straight away (and the answer is always ‘Phoenix!’). Noah’s getting pretty good at connecting the letters to sounds (except C for Crown and K for Kettle). But I just love the guesses they come out with when it’s my turn…

“I spy with my little eye, something beginning with C. That’s a c- c- sound…”

Phoenix yells, “Photos!”

Laughing “Try again.” I say

Noah, “Cooking!”

“Nope!” I reply

Phoenix, “Flowers!”

“Not quite,”

Noah, “Cup Cakes!”

Phoenix, “I want to eat a cup cake!”

“Nope, that’s not what I spy. Ready for me to tell you?”

Both, “Yes!”

“Clock! For Bed Time!”

Both yell “No!!”

The game continues for a few more minutes before they get distracted by animal cards, but I love the few moments we focus on playing together.

New Year, Less Challenges

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Every year I resolve to write more on my blog.

Every year it gets to about now and I start to feel guilty because I haven’t lived up to my own challenge. Along with everything else that’s going on in my life and all the other challenges I set myself.

That’s a bit stupid, right? That feeling of guilt…? Thought so.

So this year I didn’t. I didn’t resolve to write more here because I’m already writing and I want to focus on finishing at least one of the few novels I have started.

I didn’t resolve to write more because I have a family that needs me first.

I didn’t resolve to write more because I’m already challenged with my Thermomix work, and I love it.

I didn’t resolve to write more because I want it to just happen naturally, rather than because I’m forcing myself and feeling guilting about it.

I didn’t resolve to write more because I know I’m already posting more with my Cookbook challenge.

And how much can I really challenge myself anyway? I like a good challenge. In fact, I would go so far as to say I thrive on it. I love the idea of smashing through a goal and the feeling of pride I get in my own work that comes with it, totally up my alley.

But where do I draw the line?

Do I challenge myself to cook new dish every week? Work out at the gym a certain amount of times a month? Write however many posts I set for myself. Finish however many chapters of my first draft I choose?

All while putting my family first and spending time with them.

In 2016, I resolve that I’m already challenged enough. 

Family always comes first.

I’m already meeting challenges for work.

I’m completing my cookbook challenge, because damn it it’s the second one I’ve done and I want to actually finish it. 

I want to stay healthy. Not push myself, but not fall by the wayside either. Just stay healthy.

I want to get over my hair. Or my lack of hair. And to stop letting it rule me and how I see myself and just to get the fuck over it. 

Most of all I want to remind myself to be Grateful for everything we have. A stable life. Our health. Our family. Love. A roof over our head and spending money in the wallet. A holiday when we need it.

To be Grateful for life, not to challenge myself to be grateful. Just be.

My Ultimate Wish List

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Lately I’ve been reading ‘Blog Posts Suggestion’ lists, as a way to be a little more inspired to write here more often and one of the suggestions I found was your ‘Ultimate Wish List’. I am so down with that.

I’m a huge believer in just asking for what you want. Not necessarily to someone directly, but more so putting it ‘out there’ somewhere, in the world. Ask verbally, write it down, journal it, sing it, scrapbook it, vision board it, blog it. Just ask.

Because if you don’t ask for what you want, how will it know to come to you?

Around Christmas time I usually publish a ‘Christmas Wish List’ kind of post. It started as a way to give Hubby a helping hint but as the years went on I realised it was one of the best ways I was asking for the things I desired. Then as the next year pasted, almost everything made it’s way to me. Simply because I asked for it.

So, what’s in my Ultimate Wish List?

1. A cure for Alopecia. I will always put this out there as it’s something I crave above everything else. Living with Alopecia for nearly 8 years I’ve come to some kind of acceptance with my hair but my confidence even now still takes a battering when I have a new spot to cover. No, it’s not a life threatening illness and yes, it’s only hair-loss but that can make a massive difference to anybody’s confidence and their life. You can ready more about my Alopecia journey here. If there is one thing I crave over anything else it’s a full head of hair.

2. A Successful Business. All my adult life I’ve yearned to run my own successful cafe. I’m at the point where I’m mentally ready to start but my family isn’t at the right stage. We want to wait until Phoenix is at school before committing to such a big venture. The older I get the more certain I am about my Cafe. It’s going to be health food focused with a small deli and fantastic coffee. I want cream walls with green and brown trimmings, giving it a natural earthy feel. I’ve already started working on my menu, with a huge emphasis on seasonal produce. It even has a name. It’s just out there waiting for me to start. (upon re-reading this post I’ve realised I already have a successful business with Thermomix. I’m loving how it’s allowing me to learn more about running a business without the demands of a full-time cafe business just yet. Easing into my dream…) 

3. Disneyland! Because, honestly, who doesn’t want to go there.

4. Travelling.  I want to eat a croissant in France. Pizza in Italy. Bangers and Mash in England. I’ve crossed off Laska in Thailand and Sushi in Japan already, but my Ultimate holiday is a food holiday where I leave the scales at home and bring my digestive tablets with me.

5. Living closer to Family. Living in a rural Mining town, many many many hours away from my family has brought home what really matters. One day, when we have the cafe maybe, I hope to live much closer to my sisters and parents. In the same town even. The isolation can be very hard out here at times and I yearn to be able to duck around to my sisters place for a cuppa.

Okay, so at this point in time, that’s my Ultimate Wish List. What’s on your list?